I don’t just hate the Olympics, I hate the Olympics. every 4 years i am subject to the same stupid conversations about this snoozefest. They all say they “love the Olympics” until you ask them why and they can’t say anything they like about it.
I’m sure deep down we all want to love the Olympics. I know what I do. a competition where amateur athletes from all countries compete against each other to see who is the best in each sport. on paper, it sounds convincing. But the Olympics have become such a corrupt and boring charade that even “fans” struggle to name one nice thing about them.
Reading: I don’t care about the olympics
so when you say “i love the olympics”, what you’re really saying is “i like things based on popularity and i don’t form my own opinions”. okay, we’ve all done it. as the games in tokyo start i am here to enlighten you and save you from hours or worthless content.
events cannot be seen
Let me ask you a question. when was the last time you watched any olympic sports outside of the olympic games (excluding basketball)? exactly. sports are supposed to be entertainment. they have stakes, there are narratives, we can feel the tension in the air. when you take away the entertainment aspect, you’re left with the wnba.
Men’s soccer, basketball, hockey, baseball (to a lesser degree) all have profitable professional leagues because they are exciting to watch. why swimming, track, decathlons, canoe yoga, that weird speed walk event that guy took a shit on himself, underwater obstacles, and the other 99% of events aren’t in television is because nobody cares.
at least this made the event worth watching
A bunch of naked ancient Greek dudes struggling to pass the time has snowballed into 2 weeks of watching sports we don’t like with athletes we don’t know from countries we don’t care about.
If you haven’t seen the icarus documentary yet, check it out.
is a very well done and compelling documentary detailing how russia had a state sponsored doping program going back decades. They cheated at every Olympics since steroids existed. As the Russian “steroid czar” Grigory Rodchenkov explains in the film, they easily figured out ways to bypass all the urine tests and laughed at all the security measures the IOC put in place.
director bryan fogel’s documentary was supposed to show the effect steroids had on him as a semi-professional cyclist. he ended up stumbling into the russian doping program because he found the right guy and asked him some questions. he’s not a tenacious investigative journalist, this was right in front of us this whole time and no one cared enough about the olympics to ask or watch.
Which begs the question, who didn’t get caught? it’s easy to demonize russians for movies like rocky 4, rambo 2, goldeneye or air force one, but china, the united states, england and any country that has a seat at the table of world superpowers have been doing exactly the same thing. rodchenkov says this is absolutely happening and you have to be a special kind of gullible to think it isn’t.
as fogel explained about joe rogan’s experience, every country that hosts olympic games can provide the drug testing staff for those games. you’re basically trusting global superpowers to police themselves instead of giving you a competitive advantage, which is like trusting a heroin addict to watch your house.
The big climax of Icarus has Fogel and his team meeting with the IOC to show them the library of evidence they have against Russia. The IOC staff look shocked, horrified, and confused, proving they are either great actors or really stupid people.
How was Russia punished for its decades-long cheating scandal? they weren’t represented at the 2018 or 2020 winter games. that’s it. they still competed, but russia as a country was not recognized. Russia’s competitors were labeled ROC (Russian Olympic Committee), which is actually quite funny.
no long-term ramifications, no bans, just a slap on the wrist. I am sure that Russia has learned its lesson. her government is made up of reasonable people who definitely do not exploit any signs of weakness.
do you still love the olympic games? there’s so much more!
the IOC is the worst organization on the planet
The IOC’s mission statement should be “to support the advancement of corruption, greed and human rights violations.” his track record over the last 25 years is abysmal.
They sell the host countries the economic and social benefits they will receive from being the focal point of the Olympic Games, which will leave a “lasting legacy” for future generations. that last is true, but the legacy it leaves is not positive. Let’s take the latest games in Rio de Janeiro. It cost Brazil $15 billion to build the infrastructure, including the extravagant stadiums, facilities and other amenities required by the IOC. oh, and the coi makes unbelievably outrageous, non-negotiable demands.
not only that, but brazil had to demolish the houses of tens of thousands of its citizens to make room for the venues. not to mention the tax burden that Brazilians will bear to pay for all these things that are now worthless. After all that, the Rio Games were still clouded with controversy because their country was too corrupt and in disarray at the time to take on such an event. Do you remember the horrendous athlete accommodations, how athletes were forced to swim in giant toilets full of poop, or the uncontrolled outbreak of the Zika virus?
See also: Where we re going we don t need eyes
Not to mention the ongoing scandals of bribery, slavery and corruption involving the IOC at every Olympic Games. I hesitate to even call them scandals because that would imply that there were consequences. there was none.
it’s a pointless worldwide penis measurement contest
The Olympics are an easy way for world leaders to foster cheap nationalism. what self-respecting world leader can say no to that?
It is beneficial for powerful nations (as long as you don’t host it). it brings people together and distracts them from whatever shady shit the government people are trying to cover up. it’s like a big ‘reset’ button in the news cycle for 2 boring weeks.
also explains why everyone cheats. The Olympics are a reflection of the power of your country, the strength of your citizens, the size and strength of your athletes. that’s why hitler was so mad when jessie owens ran circles around her aryan supermen. or why Russian judges game the system even though all their athletes are already cornered monsters.
It is one of the few events that everyone is (forced to be) watching and the perfect opportunity to show that your country is superior to the others. at least the athletes are paid well for their contributions to driving nationalism. oh wait no they don’t.
let’s hate all the olympic games together
even if you don’t believe anything about corruption or coi, these games fail on the most basic level, they are really boring. A 20-hour marathon of pawn stars has infinitely more entertainment value than the Olympics.
Stop lying to yourself and saying you like her. there are easier ways to make friends.
the only way to save these games is to go back to the rules of the early 20th century, like in this video of the 1908 london games. they didn’t even have a landing mat for the pole vaulters. you had to clear the bar and avoid breaking your legs. and tug of war used to be an olympic event, why would we remove it?
It sounds like sheer madness, but I’d watch a whole month of Olympics with no security measures. let’s show who really cares about the gold medal.