a 69-page narrative only for kindle. bitter? shocked with the ego? yes, it is…
There is nothing worse than a middle-aged man who sheds the last vestiges of his dignity. Some men run away from their families’ chicken coop to chase long-vanished dreams; others will kid themselves into thinking that 20 year old ass and pussy combo isn’t just after them for their money.
and john florence, the estranged father of 45-year-old john john, nathan and ivan, has reached a new low with a 69-page self-published book only for kindle that is currently on sale on amazon.
“I’m a natural flirt. I enjoy making people smile, laugh, laugh. I am very sexual by nature. I was raised that way. I’ve always liked all sorts of hints of sexual innuendo in general conversation. something that would make a person raise an eyebrow while giving him a sly smile back. very sexual in every way to the point of failure or not, I’m not sure, but that’s just how I interact with everyone, from passengers at my tables to co-workers, friends, and girlfriends.
The book is the work of a man who will happily tell you that he took too many hits to the head as a kid and was so cool that he was always doing something to “give me that warm fuzzy feeling of fear and/or ‘now the you fucked up.’”
It’s a book that tries to be part adventure (walking around Europe with expired credit cards), part street (dealing coke and weed), and part redemption (I have to stay away from alcohol!).
f.e.a.r (yes, that’s the name) fails because writing can’t get rid of the ego that inflates the story.
let’s read:
“I’m a natural flirt. I enjoy making people smile, laugh, laugh. I am very sexual by nature. I was raised that way. I’ve always liked all sorts of hints of sexual innuendo in general conversation. something that would make a person raise an eyebrow while giving him a sly smile back. very sexual in every way to the point of failure or not, I’m not sure, but that’s just how I interact with everyone, from passengers at my tables to co-workers, friends, and girlfriends.
“alex was attracted to me because i was the charming and funny waiter, union steward, friend of the captain, kind of king of the dining room on ships. she too was intimidated by those qualities.
“By attacking everything he did to me, he was able to safely maintain his control over me. but this makes me ask the question, “am I still me without all those qualities?” Am I still a funny, comical, sexy, intriguing John? I know I didn’t feel that way with alex. I felt stripped of me, like a black and white john. I felt caged and closed. like a bird that is not allowed to fly, a flower that is not allowed to bloom… I need to be able to be me, to attract the answers I want: the laughter, the smiles, the sexy and knowing smiles of women … ”
“I am currently awaiting arraignment for two felony counts. I received a dui on October 10, 2013 and hired a lawyer; he felt that we had defeated him because there were no witnesses. then, as if living with doom on my shoulder, i received another dui in january 2014. the prosecutor offered me a guilty plea on two counts of misdemeanors, but my attorney quickly rejected the guilty plea and agreed that they would be elevated to two felony duis. I don’t know what the terms of the guilty plea were, but as in the first case, there were no (sic) witnesses to put me behind the wheel at the time the vehicle was strange on the sidewalk… I’m looking at some time back bars. what the hell was i thinking? …like many before me, alcohol is the carrier pigeon of doom…now I feel like I was doomed from the start…doomed to make poor choices, doomed to be misled by my love for the “good times” into a life of pain and misery, leaving destruction and shattered lives in my wake.
“However, I must admit that if it weren’t for alcohol, I wouldn’t have married the two beautiful women who loved me, I wouldn’t have the four beautiful children I love with all my heart, and I wouldn’t have this story to tell…”
Buy it here if you want (it’s three odd American shekels)
…or read alex’s much sweeter version here.