The 10 signs that you&039re dating a German | Expatica

    From dodgy swimsuits and sauerkraut obsessions to afternoons full of pies and evil Santa, we share the most telltale signs you’re dating a German.

    Whether you hate them or laugh at them, cultural stereotypes are there for a reason. Of course, it is always advisable to take them with a pinch of salt and not generalize to an entire nation. but nobody can deny that there are certain peculiarities that you will surely come across when living in a foreign country. this is especially true when it comes to dating as an expat. And if your partner happens to be German, you might identify with these telltale signs.

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    1. your life runs like clockwork

    German dating rule number one: being late for fashion is not an acceptable excuse. This practical nation values ​​order above all else, which is great news when it comes to dating. Your partner’s love of punctuality means they’ll never be up late for a date night. on the other hand, their intolerance towards tardiness means you shouldn’t keep them waiting either. but hey, relationships are about compromise, right? These days, you also know not to flippantly suggest that you meet up at some point or spontaneous plans arise in your liebchen. if you don’t set an exact date and time and save it on your calendar, it won’t happen.

    2. you learned to accept the speedometer

    You know you’re dating a German when you’ve had the debate about ditching those skimpy swim trunks, and you’ve lost. For some unknown reason, even the hairiest German men, and those with the heaviest figures, love their parakeet smugglers. They wear them on the beach, with shoes and socks at the resorts, and, if they feel like it, with T-shirts while lounging by the pool. while some German men can be persuaded to wear more modest beachwear, for most, there is no convincing. Whoever said less is more he must have been German!Middle-aged man wearing a speedo

    3. You no longer make small talk

    You learned quite early on (perhaps during your flirtatious attempts to get your partner’s attention) that Germans don’t have small talk. fleeting observations about the weather and the rising cost of the pilsner won’t capture your sweetie’s attention because they value deeper conversations with purpose much more than meaningless small talk. so save those random musings for a phone call with your grandma.

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    Regarding the topic of conversation, you’ve also learned that Germans can be a bit quiet when it comes to expressing their feelings. you know that “could be better” could actually mean, “that’s great! I love it!”, so you’ve learned to augment his responses a bit in your interpretation.

    4. you know flirting gets you nowhere

    Let’s face it, Germans aren’t exactly famous for their flattering charm, so if you’re dating one, don’t be surprised if some of your genuine compliments fly over their heads; or they don’t think you’re being truthful. If your partner is more used to dating locals than expats, they may not even notice your attempts to flirt with them. you kissed your fluttering eyelids and twisting your hair goodbye a long time ago because you know this gets lost in your frank German. but as long as you show up on time and let them wear their swim trunks, you’ll stay in their good books.

    Couple flirting on a street in Munich

    5. Honesty is your new policy

    Now this one can sting if you’re the sensitive type. But if there’s one lesson you’ll learn from dating a German, it’s how to grow a tough skin. Being direct is very important in German culture, and honesty is highly valued by men and women. this means that if there is something that your partner does not like, you will know it; Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. but hey, at least you know where you stand, right? and this just means that you too can speak your mind. while many expats find this level of candor in a relationship quite liberating, those who are more easily offended soon learn that they have to toughen up for it to work.

    6. you can have your cake – and eat it too!

    You may not get the royal treatment from your German girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your cake, and eat it too. come at 4 pm in germany, you’re reminded of exactly why you married (or are dating) a german: national permission to eat dessert before dinner. no matter what else is going on, everything is put on hold for the traditional coffee and cake break (kaffee und kuchen) at the end of the afternoon. With so many delicious desserts on offer in Germany, you know that pure indulgence awaits too. Now that’s a pretty good deal if you ask us!

    A couple sharing dessert on a date

    7. Splitting the bill is no big deal

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    The Brothers Grimm may have invented more fairy tales than you can imagine, but when it comes to dating in Germany, there are no princes charming or damsels in distress. Gender equality is strong in this progressive country, so when it comes to dating customs like splitting the check, women have no problem reaching for their wallets. If you are dating a German man, you know that you should not expect any special treatment from him for being a woman. he knows you don’t need to be rescued and he respects you too much to treat you like a princess. That said, chivalry isn’t completely dead in the land of gender equality. he can still open the door for you and buy you dinner from time to time.

    8. you will never look at santa the same way again

    Germany may be home to some of the world’s most enchanting Christmas markets, but the country may have just ruined Santa for you. according to german folklore, on december 6 (also known as nikolaustag) st. Nicholas visits the homes of good children and leaves small gifts as rewards. however, the night before, his menacing counterpart, the demon-like beast Krampus, comes to punish the naughty children. the sinister creature beats them up, puts them in a bag and takes them to its mountain lair. Now we don’t know if you are planning to have children with your German partner, but if so, you might want to consider what Christmas story you raise them with. After all, the idea of ​​being lured out of their beds by a pagan, demonic monster could lead to some pretty nasty nightmares before Christmas!


    9. Sauerkraut and Wurst are now dietary staples

    Thanks to your German girlfriend, you can no longer imagine serving pork without a ladle of sauerkraut. in fact, this beloved sauerkraut dish has become a staple in their diet. you’ve also come to see it as a magical cure for all stomach ailments thanks to all those lovely probiotics. while on the topic of German food, you also learned the critical differences between sausages, currywurst, and blutwurst. And while you may not be able to decipher the names of the 1,500 varieties of German sausage, you know it’s important to stay on top of the details. after all, this is germany!

    10. you’re dreading your wedding day

    If you’ve made it this far and are about to marry the German of your dreams, congratulations! now all you have to do is survive your wedding day. Sure, it’s probably the happiest day of your life, but you’re also aware that when it comes to traditional weddings in Germany, it’s all about jokes. If you are the girlfriend, you know that there is a high chance that you will be kidnapped and taken to a bar where you have to wait for your boyfriend to find you. and you can forget about having a nice long nap in the morning after your big day because you might be woken up by hidden alarms going off at different times. Now who said Germans don’t have a sense of humor!

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