A dessert that describes every SEC opponent in Cupcake Week

    this is the week for multiple sophomore teams to say goodbye without taking the week off.

    yeah, it’s cupcake week, the annual blast fest seven days before the season-ending rivalry week.

    Reading: What is cupcake week football

    There are three conference games on Saturday (arkansas in mississippi state, missouri in tennessee, ole miss in vanderbilt). Texas A&M has a tough opponent in UAB, but most other SEC teams face non-conference scapegoats. Or should we say cakes?

    We decided to compare each upcoming opponent to a dessert. not just cupcakes, but other delicious dishes. bring your game show and an extra napkin:

    alabama vs. citadel: death by chocolate

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    the sweetest dessert. The Crimson Tide just knocked out second-ranked opponents from the West, LSU and Mississippi State, in back-to-back games and scored 20-plus points in each game against two of the best defenses in the nation. citadel is a soccer championship subdivision team and not even a good one. the bulldogs are 4-5. bama can name the score and ask for seconds.

    auburn vs. liberty: foster bananas

    The Flames are 4-5 in their first season as an independent football bowl subdivision. liberty has beaten new mexico, troy and old dominion, but should be no match for an auburn team looking to get ready for the iron bowl. why do bananas foster liberty, a school that’s nowhere near new orleans? because, as you call them, it is a dessert that you light up. sometimes these things write themselves.

    florida vs. idaho: lemon cake

    florida has a bit of a sour vibe right now, with gators players telling their own fans to shut up after touchdowns. so something with a lemon flavor fits the bill. if we wanted a savory dish that included pastry, we would have opted for an English pie, which usually has potatoes. because, you know, idaho. the vandals left fbs to return to fcs competition this season and are 4-6.

    georgia vs. umass: boston cream pie

    Like I said, some of these just write themselves. Boston Cream Pie (which is actually more of a pie) is a truly delicious dessert and perhaps the best known in Massachusetts. piece of cake, piece of cake, it all applies to this game. this will be fun, but uga fans should check out minute catcher andy isabella, who leads the nation with 86 catches.

    kentucky vs. mtsu: chocolate elvis cupcake

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    thank you. many thanks. Kentucky could use a bye after losing its last two games, ending its grand dreams of a second title this season and probably a major bowl. Bobcats could use a Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Cupcake to satisfy their sweet tooth. But the Blue Raiders are 7-3 (6-1 in the US Conference), so instead of a cupcake, they could turn into a hard cookie.

    lsu vs. rice: pecan pie

    We could have chosen rice pudding, of course. but, nah, I already took the easy way out with a couple of these. As a Floridian, I tend to think of pecan pie as a classic southeastern dessert. But in Texas, the pecan tree is the official state tree and the state house named pecan pie the official state dessert. they can fight with georgia for that. that’s a lot more complicated than lsu defeating a horrible team of owls.

    south carolina vs. chattanooga: moon cake

    I have a confession that will anger a lot of southerners. I’m sorry, but here goes: I really don’t like mooncakes. all the parts sound good (graham crackers, marshmallows, chocolate) but the final product doesn’t blow me away. but chattanooga is famous for them so mooncakes must be the choice. mocs are unlikely to be as memorable as an opponent for gamecocks.

    texas a&m vs. uab: baklava

    at jimworld, baklava is the king of all non-chocolate desserts. there are versions with chocolate inside or on top, but as much as I love chocolate, it’s not even necessary here. for me the best version only has puff pastry, nuts, cinnamon and honey (or syrup). what does this have to do with uab? Baklava is very labor intensive – getting all those layers of puff pastry to roll out properly and then adding the layers of nuts and honey is a delicate job. and that is what the uab represents for the aggies. this matchup is no cupcake at all.

    uab is 9-1 and has clinched the western division in the united states conference. It’s an amazing story because the Blazers restarted football last season after the school dropped the program for a couple of years. watch out, a&m. If you win this game, you will really feel like a real treat.

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